I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
