You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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