she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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