we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
