My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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