Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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