brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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