Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
this will be a night to untag.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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