you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just had sex bonerless
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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