Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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