I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
