SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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