Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
