Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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