she was so not down for the gang bang
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
