just tell him i said nine months
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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