THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
