I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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