is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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