Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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