what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
