She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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