Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize