i don't like sucking hair
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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