Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
