and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
