i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
did i walk over a car last night?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
