Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?

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(314): View more from Missouri

I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .

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(310): View more from California

My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.

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(661): View more from California

u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

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(+46): View more from Sweden

I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.

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