my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
