I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I need to stop coming to work sober
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize