3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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