We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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