dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So vagazzling was a success
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize