i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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