i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
