soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
