He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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