I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
