if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
