i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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