You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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