did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
