You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
