they need to just BURY HIM!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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