I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
