you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
