Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
