Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if i can run in heels then i can drive
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
