my sisters under your porch take her home
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
