That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
