Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
