I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
