I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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