I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
