The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
