Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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