using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
