i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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