How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
