You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
