? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
