i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
