I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
