If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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